16.06.15

Today was another beach day. The sea was not as inviting as list time but the sun was glorious and the beach had fewer people so it was still nice. Jim decided he was not going to swim today and spent the day sitting in the shade looking at all the boats and people in the water.

When we got back we relaxed. Me and Jim sorted out our own tea and Granddad went to the hospital to visit his friend in intensive care. I could tell Granddad was distracted all day and felt a bit better when Granddad got home and told me his friend was now in high dependency (a more stable condition than intensive care).

While granddad was out I went on a walk with Jim to find one particular staircase off the promenade which has arches of flowers that remind us of a level of Spiro 1. Jim had been looking forward to it and I thought tonight was a good a night as any. We left during the early dusk and I got some good footage of Jim for the film he is making.

When I got home I called Rory. I got upset because I assumed I would be seeing him the weekend I got back (aka the first weekend I will be home) but he is going to Christoph’s Dad’s wedding. I cant help but be annoyed and upset. We aren't going to spend any time together this summer due to a combination of his working and my dissertation prep. Realising how little I am going to see him over the next 12 months is heart-breaking and I cried. I cried because I'm scared of 3^rd year and how disconnected I might become, of becoming overwhelmed and stressed and of loosing important relationships as a result such as Rory. When together I remember why is to worth it, but the fact of the matter is we are never together. We are only going to be seeing each other a few occasions this calendar year. For the first time I feel like I am in a real long distance relationship because we might as well be in different countries from each other.